GreatAspirations

FROM UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE

FOR RELEASE: WEEK OF AUGUST 16, 1998

GREAT ASPIRATIONS! by Two Dads

SAME FAMILY, DIFFERENT PLANETS -- NO WORRIES!

Did you ever wonder how kids in the same family could be so different from one another? They have the same parents, they are growing up in the same house, and chances are they share the same room. So why does one eat peas and carrots, while the other insists on dining exclusively on corn? Why does one excel in school while the other thinks it's a total drag? Why can one play alone, entertaining herself for hours, while the other requires a troupe of friends and tickets to a three-ring circus just to pass time?

It makes no sense. Surprise! It's as true in your family as in every other family on the planet: No two children living under the same roof, at the same longitude and latitude, are going to share the exact same set of interests, curiosities, skills, moods or mind-sets. It seems that as soon as we've figured out one child, the next one comes along and makes everything we THOUGHT we knew about kids obsolete.

As parents, we may sometimes wish our kids were the same, but it will never happen. Even if we treat, dress and raise them alike, they're still bound to act like they are not only from different families, but also from different hemispheres. So instead of letting their differences frustrate us, let's choose to celebrate the differences. Rejoice in the fact that you have the ability to raise unique individuals under one roof.

To establish a real sense of belonging in your kids, let them be the individuals they are. Give them the freedom to have different learning styles, haircuts, friends, interests, strengths, weaknesses and ideas about the past, present and future. Otherwise, it's like trying to fit round pegs into square holes.

But it's important to go beyond merely accepting diversity. It's not enough just to bite your tongue when your son decides to take dance lessons or your daughter wants to join the seventh-grade football team. You have to celebrate your child's uniqueness.

The quickest way to destroy a relationship with a child is to not accept who they are or who they want to become. Children work hard to find identities of their own -- they have to invent them, just like you did. And parents have the power to create fertile environments in which their identities can come to full bloom. In doing so, we are also in the perfect position to teach our kids tolerance -- to accept and embrace the differences in others.

So how can a parent teach acceptance? It's simple: By being accepting yourself. As a parent, do you support underdogs and dark horses? Or do you stand by passively while others ridicule them? Do you approach each individual as a person to respect and learn from -- or do you fall into the trap of stereotyping? As you do, so will your child.

Research confirms that children with a greater sense of belonging are those who receive acknowledgment for their individuality. Children with the highest sense of belonging:

-- Are more likely to feel their parents care about their success.

-- Have parents who show off their work.

-- Perceive that they've won many awards.

Here are some specific ways to celebrate our kids as individuals:

My "Me" Book. Assemble a photo album for your child. Fill it with plenty of photos of school, community, sports and family events -- special moments for them and events in which they played a role. Leave plenty of blank pages in each book, so your child can fill it with their own memories and mementos.

Who I Am Now? Invite everyone in the family to put together a collage that is, in essence, a portrait of how they see themselves at the moment. Gather poster board and magazines, scissors and glue. Have everyone cut out photos and illustrations that define their interests, feelings and views of the world. Mom and Dad should do one, too. Display them prominently. Each collage will be a family heirloom in 20 years.

Viva la difference! How dull would it be to raise a family without it? If we want to bring up children to recognize and celebrate diversity, we owe it to them to model that behavior at home. So the next time you say to yourself, "I can't believe how different these kids are," give yourself a pat on the back. You are obviously doing a great job!

(The Two Dads are Doug Hall, Director of Great Aspirations!, and Russ Quaglia, Child Aspirations Expert.)

COPYRIGHT 1998 GREAT ASPIRATIONS! INC.

DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE
4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

FROM UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE

FOR RELEASE: WEEK OF AUGUST 9, 1998

GREAT ASPIRATIONS! by Two Dads

'I'M BORED!' BE GONE

The dog days of summer are in full swing, and you've probably already heard your kids moan and whine 1,000 times, "Dad, I'm bored" and "Mom, there's nothing to do ..." At first, you may be able to ignore these complaints, but when you hear them again and again, it can make you absolutely crazy!

As real-world adults who carry full workloads and worry about paying the bills, we look forward to downtime. We wistfully long for those rare, shimmering moments of blissful peace and quiet. We cherish scattered, stolen moments of rest.

But the world our kids inhabit is a fast-paced, kinetic whirlwind of physical and mental activity. It's a nonstop search for new things to know and do and see and learn. This is a natural part of what childhood's all about -- and more important, it's a natural extension of our children's innate curiosity and creativity.

Hurrah for them! Don't get discouraged if you can't keep up. Your job is to lead, teach and support your kids, steering their curiosity in useful directions -- not to entertain them every minute of every day. What you need are ways to help your kids channel their explosive energy into productive pursuits.

Here are some low-supervision activities that will excite your children and give you a little time to catch your breath:

BIG BUBBLE BONANZA

Blowing bubbles beats boredom. (Try saying that 10 times real fast.) This simple, surefire bubble recipe will give your kids hours of fun.

You'll need:

4 cups warm water A small bucket
1 cup blue dishwashing liquid 4 feet yarn
4 teaspoons salt

Directions:

1. Pour all ingredients into the bucket, and gently combine well.

2. Tie the two ends of the yarn together to form a loop.

3. Dip the loop into the big bubble solution, carefully remove, then slowly wave in the air to make great big bubbles.

Tips:

-- Try dipping anything from coat hangers to egg beaters into the bubble solution to make cool bubble shapes.

TERRIFIC TIE DYE

Older kids especially love to make wearable art -- even if it is a little messy.

You'll need:

1 box or bottle of fabric dye (RIT is a good choice)
Water
1 bucket for each color of dye
White T-Shirts
Tongs (so your hands don’t get messy)
Assorted Rubber Bands

Directions:

1. In the bucket, mix the dye with water according to package directions.

2. Pull handfuls of the T-shirt into "peaks" of various sizes, and wrap these areas in the rubber bands. These wrapped areas will become rings when the T-shirt meets the dye. Wrap both large and small areas with thick and thin rubber bands. Wrap some areas very tightly and others loosely. Wrap several rubber bands in a row to make concentric circles.

3. Dye the shirt according to package directions and rinse in cold running water. Then wash each shirt separately before wearing.

Tips:

-- Try experimenting with more than one dye color. Remember that the colors will combine with each other to make new colors. For example, yellow and blue will make green. Or blue, green, red, yellow and purple will make mud-brown.

-- When using light and dark dyes together in a project, always dye the light color first.

SWEET SUMMER MILKSHAKE

Help your kids get cooking with this easy recipe. Scour kids' cookbooks for other simple recipes they can make without your help.

You'll need:

1 cup cold milk A dull knife
1 large scoop vanilla ice cream 1/2 banana
2 tablespoons chocolate sundae sauce

Directions:

1. Cut the banana into chunks

2. Combine ingredients in blender, cover and blend until smooth

3. Pour into your glass and enjoy! Makes about 2 cups.

Tips:

-- Customize the recipe to create your own delicious drinks: strawberries instead of bananas; caramel or butterscotch sauce for the chocolate sauce. And experiment with your favorite flavor of ice cream.

You can't do something with children every minute of the day (no one has that much energy!), but you can provide them with opportunities and ideas for fun and creative things to do on their own. Help them learn to independently explore and discover, and you'll also launch them down the path toward accepting responsibility for themselves. Show them how easy it can be to find fun ways to spend their free time, and you'll never have to endure "there's nothing to do" again. Then you can lean back, put up your feet, be bored -- and love it.

(The Two Dads are Doug Hall, Director of Great Aspirations!, and Russ Quaglia, Child Aspirations Expert.)

COPYRIGHT 1998 GREAT ASPIRATIONS! INC.

DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE
4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600

Week of August 2, 1998

I Wanna Be Part of Us

Standing alone at a party. Watching TV by yourself on a Friday or Saturday night. Being the last person picked for team and wishing you were somewhere else, like on another planet. None of these things bring back fond memories of childhood.

It’s important to spend time alone. We need space away from the crowd, quiet moments to sort through our thoughts. But, at the same time, we humans are social animals. We crave belonging. We want to feel connections to other people. We need to be accepted and valued. And we all want to see ourselves as a part of something bigger -- a community of other people on whom we can depend and who depend on us. This is especially true for kids. Children with a sense of community are more confident, secure and alive to the world around them. They have a more positive view of life and believe in their potential to succeed.

But in order to give your child a feeling of community, you first have to exhibit that sense in your own life. In the old days, families had all manner of ready-made connection builders – neighborhood block parties, church pot luck dinners, quilting bees, and neighborhood schools with neighborhood playgrounds.

People sought out opportunities to create community through social get-togethers because that was all they had for entertainment. Today, with our two-income households, our burgers-to-go lifestyles and the explosion of electronic entertainment options, we have more dramatic forms of entertainment, but fewer community connections. Today, relationships have become de-personalized and disconnected. So how can we dads reverse this trend and renew the sense of belonging our kids so desperately need? What can you do to instill a feeling of community connectedness in your child?

The key is to encourage a PROACTIVE community spirit. Being passively supportive won’t cut it. Stir your children to seek out their own opportunities to create a sense of belonging. Here’s an example: Ask your child to think of a small kindness he or she can perform to make someone else’s life a little easier. Push your kids to come up with ideas that stretch them beyond their usual realms of experience -- like mowing the neighbor’s lawn, organizing a litter patrol or talking with the elderly people at church.

Genuine and unforced kindnesses bond the giver and receiver in a way nothing else can. Perhaps more importantly, they form a chain of thoughtfulness and caring that extends far beyond either person, naturally leading to other opportunities to establish one-on-one-and-beyond connections.

Here are a few more ideas for helping your kids forge their own connections:

Host a neighborhood Event Create community. Invite your neighbors over for a backyard BBQ or a pancake breakfast. If you don’t know your neighbors, change that! Make it a point to knock on their door the next sunny afternoon and introduce yourself. If your kids haven’t already broken the ice with their family, it’ll happen soon after you’ve taken the first step.

Encourage cooperation Organize your own neighborhood cleanup corps and tackle the yards of any senior citizens within a two-or-three block radius. Involve just your family. Or make it a multi-family adventure. First, canvas the neighborhood. Let your kids ask your elder neighbors what chores, tasks or maintenance jobs they’d like to have done. Then work together over a series of Saturdays to get it done.

Encourage children to work together and problem solve as a group Get a puzzle, 25, 50 or 500 pieces, and spend some time solving it together. Spark the kids to develop strategies (i.e. putting yellow pieces or the edge pieces together). Coach and inspire, don’t direct. Let them take their own approaches, make their own mistakes, and find ways to make their own contributions.

As parents, it’s part of our job to help our kids understand what it’s like to be a contributing member of a family, a neighborhood, a team, a community. Kids need to actively function within a group that fully and unconditionally accepts them. And, more than that, our kids need strong examples and earnest encouragement to learn to develop new connections on their own. It is from this sense of belonging that self-confidence develops and a sense of security grows.

(The Two Dads are Doug Hall, Director of Great Aspirations!, and Russ Quaglia, Child Aspirations Expert.)

COPYRIGHT 1998 GREAT ASPIRATIONS! INC.

DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE
4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo, 64111; (816) 932-6600

Week of July 26, 1998

"Are We there Yet?" Isn’t a Real Conversation

One of childhood’s greatest fears has nothing to do with the "boogie man," the monster under the bed or kisses from grandma. It’s the sheer dread of the annual cross-country- never-ending-jeez-not-another-one-already family car trip. Summer car rides are a particularly painful tradition. For the kids, it is usually a hot and sticky ordeal, cramped in the backseat with the extra stuff that did not fit in the trunk.

These trips often aren’t much fun for mom and dad either. Their ride is filled with sporadic warnings to "knock it off," "settle down," "keep your hands to yourself," and "if I have to stop this car…." In extreme cases, we resort to the big threat: "I’ll turn this car around right now and head back home." Of course, your kids know you’ve been planning this dream trip from Akron to Yosemite for too long, and that you’ve gone too far, even after the first hour, to seriously consider turning back.

Whether you have a mini-van or an old Buick, the kids equip the backseat with standard travel features: candy that they sneak on board, a pillow, their favorite toys, and the headset to tune you out

The good news is that these trips don’t have to be just this side of Chinese water torture. They can and should be a time to share thoughts and exchange ideas. After all, the car is a natural conversation chamber. While crazy schedules often leave families with little time to sit down and talk, car trips provide a perfect, intimate environment in which to really interact. Think of the road ahead as a concrete ribbon of miles and miles of uninterrupted time--time for you to learn something about your children, and for your children to learn something about you.

One of the greatest sorrows in today’s digital world is our inability to have meaningful discussion with our children. Kids can’t feel like they are valued members of our family if we never have a chance to communicate with each other. They can’t feel that they belong in a family that doesn’t know what they think. And they can’t enjoy being part of a family that seldom has any fun together.

Here are some ideas that can turn road trips into wonderful memories:

Bingo, Bongo, Bango Make up three nonsense works, like Wackle, Mackle, Sackle or Miney, Maney, Meany--then build them into a story. Take turns having each person in the car invent a piece of the story. For more laughs and a greater challenge, see if you can compose a story in rhyming couplets. You’ll be amazed at how long a fun, silly story can can keep you talking--even after its conclusion.

KidTalk® Conversation Cards KidTalk® cards are a wonderful way to spark conversations with your kids. Each card presents an fascinating fact about things kids like to talk about – like dreams, magic, peanut butter, horses, sports. Cards also include two or three open-ended questions to prompt conversations between parents and kids. To order a complete set of Kid Talk® Conversation Cards, visit the TableTalk website at

www.tbltalk.com or call: (800)-997-5676.

If I had $1,000,000 Go around the car and have everyone say what they would do if they had a million dollars. Everyone’s responses are bound to be different, and each one can be a great conversation launcher.

In the News Take a newspaper or a magazine along on car trips. Ask someone in the car to read a story aloud, then ask questions to prompt discussion. Current events don’t have to be boring, and they’re is a great way for kids to learn about the world around them.

The law in most states require all children to buckle up for safety when they are in the car. Here’s a new law: When kids and parents are in a car together they have to talk and listen to one another. Then you can deal the with real fears of childhood--like what to wear on the first day back to school...

(The Two Dads are Doug Hall, Director of Great Aspirations!, and Russ Quaglia, Child Aspirations Expert.)

COPYRIGHT 1998 GREAT ASPIRATIONS! INC.

DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE
4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo, 64111; (816) 932-6600

For Release: Week of July 19, 1998

Great Dads Play GREAT SPORTS!

Remember when weekend play meant going outside, finding whoever was around, and playing whatever seemed fun at the time? When the big kids taught the little kids how to choke up on a bat, kick a football, or shoot a foul shot? When sports were fun for everybody, regardless of skill level? Well we do, and it’s important you do as well.

The world of kids sports has become over competitive, over parentized, and over organized. It’s time to get sports back into the family. That’s right...kids and parents playing together. Our good friend Dave Raichle has created a program in Cincinnati called Great Sports! The program is designed to bring moms, dads, sisters and brothers together to participate in a semi-organized day of sports fun.

The Great Sports! program is set up for Sunday afternoons from 1:00-4:00, and centers around a variety of different sports. Whether the activity basketball or kickball, the goal is to divide into two groups and spend two hours just playing together. But there is one catch. In order to play, the kids have to come with at least one able bodied parent willing to run around and join in the frenzy. As Dave says, parental "dump and run" is not allowed.

Programs like these are important for a number of reasons. First and foremost, sports are a great vehicle to drive parents’ interaction with their kids. Running down a field laughing and jostling each other can help dads and kids feel close to each other in a way no conversation ever could.

Second, sports provide us an opportunity to both teach our children and to share in their joy as they improve their skills. There’s nothing better than seeing the gleam in your kids’ eyes when they make their first catch or hit their first homerun. And nothing makes a dad more proud than bragging, "I taught them to do that."

And third, sports is a universal language that cuts across all age levels and abilities. You don’t have to be a Michael Jordan to have fun playing ball. Your kids really don’t care whether or not you can fade away and dunk; just getting out there and trying makes you a winner in their eyes. And with your encouragement and praise, you have the power to make them feel like MVPs as well.

To get you in the game, here are some of Dave’s exciting sport activities.

Super-Cool Street Hockey Find an empty parking lot and make a quick rink with landscaping timbers or two-by-fours. Buy a puck, play in Rollerblades or your sneakers, and make an afternoon of it.

Chicago Softball For a new twist on softball, use a 16 inch ball and no gloves. A great extra large ball is called the "Official Clincher" and made by deBeer. You can find one by talking to your local sporting goods store, or looking on the web at SportSite.com.

Kid's Volleyball Played like regular volleyball, except that you catch and pass the ball to a teammate, then throw it over the net. If it hits the ground, that’s a point. This version’s a lot easier for young ones to play, and it promotes teamwork.

Ultimate Football Part of the NFL’s official Flag football program, Ultimate football is a wonderful, fast-paced kids football game for young kids. It allows everyone to play and equally touch the ball, so it’s great for both boys and girls. Call Lynn Dinanno at (212) 450-2562 for more information.

With as many as 70 parents and kids at a time showing up to play, Dave Raichle’s Great Sports! program has been a huge success . It’s an amazing program--and exemplifies how valuable sports can be. Dads need this uninterrupted play time. It’s a chance to meet and hang out with each other. It’s an opportunity to encourage and support the efforts of other parents. And, most importantly, it’s a way to show the your kids how special they really are! So dads, there are no excuses for you to sit on the sidelines. Find a park and organize your own Great Sports! program--we guarantee you’ll have a ball.

(The Two Dads are Doug Hall, Director of Great Aspirations!, and Russ Quaglia, Child Aspirations Expert.)

COPYRIGHT 1998 GREAT ASPIRATIONS! INC.

DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE
4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo, 64111; (816) 932-6600

Week of July 12, 1998

School is Out - Learning is In

Books have been turned in, and supplies are packed away. School is out and our kids’ learning process has ground to an abrupt halt. Or has it? Let’s hope not. A child’s ability to acquire new knowledge doesn’t have fizzle just because school’s out for the summer. In reality, summer’s the best opportunity for you to lead your kids to all kinds of out-of-the-classroom lessons--to make the kind of magical learning connections that can shimmer in their memories for a lifetime.

A veritable Everest of education happens during the summer months. Kids practice physics when they learn to ride a bike. They fine tune math skills when the start their first lawn mowing or babysitting business. And they develop invaluable social skills anytime they just hang out with their pals. As parents, we can either guide and become part of these learning experiences. Or we can passively allow them to happen without us--and miss watching the magic of a developing mind.

But first, we have to realize--and show our kids--that learning doesn’t have to be a boring chore. It can, and should be a whole lot of fun. Your children do not have to sit at desks to learn, and you don’t always need pencil and paper tests to see how well they are doing. You just need two eyes, a young heart, and a little imagination.

Here’s an example: Summer is the perfect time for us to explore and learn about the great outdoors. You can teach your kids some valuable lessons about nature just by playing outside. Skipping stones across a pond can help you teach surface area and momentum. Flying a kite lends itself to lessons about air pressure and lift. Learning to backfloat can help kids understand buoyancy. And, even looking at bugs and plants, leads to discussions about the plant and animal kingdom. Plan a sunny afternoon excursion to a state park. Take a lunch, a bathing suit, a book about simple science, some good walking shoes and an urge for excitement.

Here are some more hot summer ideas:

Cool Classes Enroll your children in a summer class at the local YMCA, community center or college. Most classes are free or relatively inexpensive. Make sure the topic’s something your children WANT to know more about--cool stuff like guitar, cake decorating, archery or photography. Going back to school with a new skill to share with friends will make them feel great about themselves.

Rainy Day Craft Cottage Check out the local toy store. You’ll find tons of activity kits that offer kids fun and exciting new things to learn. The kits provide everything you need to make a candle, a model car, paint by numbers or even sand art sculptures. What a great way to spend a too hot day indoors!

My Perfect Summer Vacation Work with your kids to create a "Summer Dream and Aspirations" statement--a piece of creative writing that describes what their perfect summer vacation would be like. Make sure they include things they’d like to learn along the way. Then, within reason, do whatever you can to make their dreams come true. Make it a contract by signing off on the areas you agree to help them with. For example, "I agree to take you to the amusement park this summer," or "I promise to help you learn to play soccer." Then, follow through on your promise.

At Home Treasure Hunt To create an exciting adventure for your kids, fill a box full of "treasures" and hide it in your house or yard. Draw up a map, giving directions to the treasure in yards, feet or inches; then, give your kids a yardstick and send them out to hunt. At the end, they’ll both learn measurements and get a prize--a double reward.

Learning is a continual process. Our children’s minds do not go on vacation just because school is out. During summer--more than any other time of the year--we can model ways for learning to be fun and exciting. As teachers, it’s our turn to shine.

(The Two Dads are Doug Hall, Director of Great Aspirations!, and Russ Quaglia, Child Aspirations Expert.)

COPYRIGHT 1998 GREAT ASPIRATIONS! INC.

DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE
4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo, 64111; (816) 932-6600

Week of July 5, 1998

Hooray for Independence Day!

Word Count: 676

It’s that special time of year for Americans...Independence Day. It is a day for family BBQ’s, picnics, and fireworks. It’s one of the rare times in our society that we come together and celebrate the fact that our forefathers fought to be independent, creative thinkers. It’s a day that we can be proud that our American ancestors stood up for their beliefs and were heard.

Look at George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, John Hancock and Ben Franklin--our country’s founders. They were independent thinkers, bold innovators and definite decision makers. Their aspirations--life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness--were lofty; and they worked hard to achieve their goals. But, above all, they were informed and capable leaders who questioned established norms and made good choices to effect meaningful change. Can you imagine George, Tom, John and Ben just following the status quo? No way!

These great American heroes were inspired to be creative, speak their mind, and stand up for what they believed in. But, most importantly, they were independent thinkers. As the Dads of future great leaders, how can we promote decision making in our children?

Day to day, children have little opportunity to make their own judgements or choices. Kids are rarely allowed to choose what they watch on TV, eat for dinner, what time they go to bed, or even what clothes they wear. Parents do need to place guidelines for children to follow. But, if we want our children to be responsible leaders, we need to give them a chance to be decision makers--even if it’s only in small ways.

With decision making comes responsibility and with responsibility comes leadership. Here are some ideas that will promote leadership in your children:

Saucy Kids For a great exercise in the rewards of creative decision making, let your kids craft their own barbecue sauce. Take a bottle of ketchup, and divide it into 4 bowls. Give the kids different ingredients to add to each bowl to create 4 unique recipes. Go wild with: Brown sugar, raisins, maple syrup, molasses, or O.J.

Kid Navigators Hop in the car with the kids, a compass, and a road map marked with an "X" at the location of a fun kid place, like a video game arcade or an ice cream shop. The plan: You drive, and--using the navigation devices--your kids have to navigate you to the final destination. Start from your house and make sure they aren’t so familiar with the end location that they can guide you from memory. Follow their directions exactly. If they don’t get you there the first time, it’s OK. Stop. Show them your new location on the map, then try it again.

Earn It Budgeting To teach your kids responsibility with money, set up a small scale system of salaries and bill paying. Every week your child gets a list of duties, or chores, around the house. At the end of the week they get an allowance--and a "bill" for missed duties. For every chore they didn’t do, they have to give you back 25 cents from their allowance. And, for every month that all chores are done they get an allowance "raise" of 25 cents.

Ready Kids To promote lifelong responsibility, put your kids in charge of family fire safety. Together, read about fires and what precautions you should take should one occur. Then let your kids figure out an "emergency" plan for your household-- they can even run drills. Together, make a fireproof "family treasure box"--including a list of family belongings, birth certificates, insurance papers, and heirloom photographs.

We no longer need "tea parties" or revolutions to prove our independence. All we need is a chance to make decisions, and our kids need that same opportunity.. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter whether your children grow up to be like George, Tom, John or Ben, as long as they learn to make responsible choices. This is the first step toward "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." Long live leadership!

(The Two Dads are Doug Hall, Director of Great Aspirations!, and Russ Quaglia, Child Aspirations Expert.)

COPYRIGHT 1998 GREAT ASPIRATIONS! INC.

DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE
4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo, 64111; (816) 932-6600

FOR UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE

FOR RELEASE: JUNE 28, 1998

GREAT ASPIRATIONS! By Two Dads

IF I HEAR "WHY" ONE MORE TIME….

It is absolutely crazy how many times we can be asked "why" by our kids. Just when we think we have exhausted all the possible whys another is surely to follow. Why is the sky blue? Why are peas green? Why are carrots good for your eyes? Why can’t I stay up? Why do I have to drink all my milk? Why, Why, Why?

There is only one thing that is more amazing than the number of whys we get asked. It is the fact that we always seem to have an answer. (Even if we have to make it up.) The only other option is to fall into the easy trap of proclaiming, "because"--and we’ve all done that. Saying "because" certainly does not deal with the inquiry; but, it does send a clear message to the kids that we have heard enough "whys" for a few minutes. The question is: Is that the message we really want to send?

When kids ask us why, it is not because they want to make us crazy, it is because they want to know something. Educators call this learning; parents call it being curious. Being curious and learning go hand in hand. It is our role as parents to foster curiosity at home.

Once we think we have mastered the why question from our kids, we need to get them to the next level. That is having them ask "why not." As stated earlier "why" promotes curiosity and "why not" promotes creativity. The point here is that we want not only inquisitive kids, but also kids who can take the next step and provide meaningful solutions to complex problems.

Our whole society was founded on the fact that great individuals asked why and why not. If Jefferson hadn’t asked "Why not buy Louisiana?," we wouldn’t have had the Wild West. If the Wright Brothers did not question "Why not fly like birds?," we would not have frequent flier miles. If Columbus did not ask "Why not sail around the world?," we would all be cramped in Europe today.

Here are some ideas to get the curious and creative juices of your kids flowing:

Big Top Research shows that kids who have attended events like the Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Circus, who have watched Walt Disney style videos at home, and/or who have Lego style building blocks at home have a significantly greater sense of Curiosity and Creativity than those who have not. Give your kids these kinds of classic experiences.

Cool Crafts Kids go bananas at the chance to build, paint, shape, and mold. Gather some cardboard, Popsicle sticks, glitter, pipe cleaners, markers, glue and beady eyes from a fabric or craft store and see what ideas develop.

Animal Hunt Take your kids for a walk in the park and look for signs of animals--tracks, sounds, scratches on the trees where a deer may have rubbed its’ antlers. Look in the sky and under rocks and logs. Show your children how to use field guides, Scout handbooks, internet sites, or encyclopedias to track down their findings in print.

Out and About Town Your best source of leads for cool stuff around town is in your hands - this newspaper! On any given Saturday or Sunday, this paper lists concerts, festivals, art shows or small town festivals celebrating some sort of local pride--from sauerkraut to honey bees. Load the kids in the car and go check it out!

You’ll never know the potential of your children if they are discouraged from asking why. As you open their creative spirits, don’t be surprised if you, too, start questioning. Why not?

(The Two Dads are Doug Hall, Director of Great Aspirations!, and Russ Quaglia, Child Aspirations Expert.)

COPYRIGHT 1998 GREAT ASPIRATIONS! INC.

DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE
4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo, 64111; (816) 932-6600

FROM UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE

FOR RELEASE: WEEK OF JUNE 21, 1998

GREAT ASPIRATIONS! By Two Dads

JUST SAY YES TO SPENDING TIME WITH YOUR KIDS

You can't watch an hour of television without seeing an ad for a new automobile or a commercial about drug abuse in America. Rock stars, television personalities, and politicians all have the same message...stop using drugs. Millions and millions of dollars have been spent on this campaign to have kids "just say no." Ask yourself, has it worked? Just say no!

Young children are being inundated with commercials and inspirational speakers talking about the downfall of drug abuse. Kids are not stupid. They know they shouldn't use drugs. They only need to hear that message a couple of times.

The reason drug use is still so high is that the powers that be are missing the point. Using drugs is not the problem; it is only the symptom. The real problem is that kids are bored out of their minds, they see no hope, and--most important--they feel like they just don't belong. Kids are still turning to drugs because they believe there is nothing else.

Well, here's a news bulletin: we dads are the "something else" they need! It is our responsibility to get our kids excited about things. It is our job to help them realize they have endless potential and the future is theirs. And, it is our mission to make darn sure they feel valued in their own family. It's called establishing a sense of belonging.

Belonging is the best way to protect your child from the corrosive effects of peer pressure. Human beings are, by nature, social animals. And when you don’t fit in, you’re likely to try anything that might ease the pain of not belonging.

The research data is clear. Children who have a significantly higher sense of belonging share these factors:

They come from families that sit down for dinner together more often

They spend more time with their dads on regular weekdays

They spend more time with their mom on regular Saturdays and Sundays

They watch less TV during the school week

As a concerned parent, you naturally want to instill in your child the deep-down understanding that, no matter what, he or she can count on that sense of belonging. So, how do you begin? Here are some ideas:

Share a Book Kids with a strong sense of belonging come from families where their parents read to them. The act of sharing a book with a child has a way of generating a sense of connection and belonging that no TV show or video game can provide.

Remembering Get out your old photo albums. Show your child your bad haircuts, your goofy grins, those silly glasses you used to wear. Share the successes and the failures of your childhood. The more human you are, the more your children will be able to connect with you. And, by sharing, you will forge connections that will resonate throughout your child’s life.

Mail Time If you don’t live with your child, there are ways for you to make connections, too. Send your child postcards. Kids love getting mail. The message can be short and sweet. They’ll be thrilled you took the time to write something especially for them.

It doesn’t take money or fancy training to give your child the advantages that go along with a sense of belonging. Let's stop worrying about getting our kids to "just say no" to drugs and begin as dads to "just say yes" when it comes to spending time with our children!

(The Two Dads are Doug Hall, Director of Great Aspirations!, and Russ Quaglia, Child Aspirations Expert.)

COPYRIGHT 1998 GREAT ASPIRATIONS! INC.

DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE
4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo, 64111; (816) 932-6600

FROM UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE
FOR RELEASE: WEEK OF JUNE 14, 1998
GREAT ASPIRATIONS! By Two Dads
CONGRATULATIONS: OUR DAY IS HERE!

Father's Day is a great day! It's our day! Santa has Christmas, Tom Turkey has Thanksgiving, the Bunny has Easter, Washington and Lincoln have President's Day, Cupid has Valentine's Day. And of course, moms have Mother's Day. All the greats in history have their own day, and dads are no different.

You know, recognizing fathers is not a new phenomenon. We even celebrate Father Time when we celebrate New Year's Day, and on the Fourth of July we commemorate our founding fathers.

Let's not forget that paternal types come in a wide range of varieties. There are not only dads, but also some wonderful stepdads, and the grandest of all, grandfathers. Before we break out the party hats, however, we all need to step back and reflect on our roles as dads.

What promises did you make to yourself when you were standing in the hospital looking at your newborn through the nursery window? What New Year's resolutions have you made? What vows have you made to your parents, spouse, children, friends? Which have you kept? Which have you let slide? Father's Day is the day to start to renew them!

The exciting news is that dads everywhere always have the power to improve. Our children have a never-ending ability to forgive and forget and to love us. There can be no greater motivation for dads than the unconditional love our children give us.

As we celebrate Father's Day '98, here are three strategies to make this year ever more meaningful.

-- Be Available. Children cannot connect with someone who is not there. Research indicates that the average father spends only 10 minutes a day with his child. Who wants to be just average? Great dads realize that our children not only want us, but also really NEED us. Plain and simple, it is our job to be there. Kids can't trust and feel confident talking to someone they rarely see or connect with.

-- Be A Teacher. Get involved in your children's learning journeys. Reading, writing and even algebra are critical learning needs for children, but there are many other things your child needs to learn. And as a parent, you have the responsibility to teach them.

Sadly, it is easy to neglect our duties as teachers and expect someone else to do it. We feel that we're a "good parent" because we attend every baseball game or school open house. That's not enough. Being a great parent is getting personally involved in your child's learning. It's about playing catch in the back yard, sharing knowledge, and being a coach and teacher to your child. Behind many great people are fathers who played a significant part in their child's academic, athletic and social development.

The person who teaches your children how to accomplish that which they believe impossible creates a bond that knows no bounds. Be selfish, and don't let others take the entire teaching role.

-- Listen and Believe. Stop. Listen. Hear. Feel. Understand. If someday you want your teen-agers to talk to you about their topsy-turvy lives, then they must as children feel like you will listen, understand and really care about what they have to say.

Second, you must show faith and belief in your children. If you don't believe in their abilities and skills, then they surely won't. As dads, it's our responsibility to provide booster rockets for our children's self-esteem, self-confidence and self-image.

Celebrate this Father's Day. You've earned it. But as a great father, know that -- just like a great athlete -- you can always improve. Pledge today to make Father's Day 1999 a date when you look back and say wow, I am a better dad today than I was 12 months ago. Today, I am one step closer to being the kind of dad I vowed I would one day be.

(The Two Dads are Doug Hall, Director of Great Aspirations!, and Russ Quaglia, Child Aspirations Expert.)

COPYRIGHT 1998 GREAT ASPIRATIONS! INC.

DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE
4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600