"Are We there Yet?" Isn’t a Real Conversation

GreatAspirations

Week of July 26, 1998

One of childhood’s greatest fears has nothing to do with the "boogie man," the monster under the bed or kisses from grandma. It’s the sheer dread of the annual cross-country- never-ending-jeez-not-another-one-already family car trip. Summer car rides are a particularly painful tradition. For the kids, it is usually a hot and sticky ordeal, cramped in the backseat with the extra stuff that did not fit in the trunk.

These trips often aren’t much fun for mom and dad either. Their ride is filled with sporadic warnings to "knock it off," "settle down," "keep your hands to yourself," and "if I have to stop this car…." In extreme cases, we resort to the big threat: "I’ll turn this car around right now and head back home." Of course, your kids know you’ve been planning this dream trip from Akron to Yosemite for too long, and that you’ve gone too far, even after the first hour, to seriously consider turning back.

Whether you have a mini-van or an old Buick, the kids equip the backseat with standard travel features: candy that they sneak on board, a pillow, their favorite toys, and the headset to tune you out

The good news is that these trips don’t have to be just this side of Chinese water torture. They can and should be a time to share thoughts and exchange ideas. After all, the car is a natural conversation chamber. While crazy schedules often leave families with little time to sit down and talk, car trips provide a perfect, intimate environment in which to really interact. Think of the road ahead as a concrete ribbon of miles and miles of uninterrupted time--time for you to learn something about your children, and for your children to learn something about you.

One of the greatest sorrows in today’s digital world is our inability to have meaningful discussion with our children. Kids can’t feel like they are valued members of our family if we never have a chance to communicate with each other. They can’t feel that they belong in a family that doesn’t know what they think. And they can’t enjoy being part of a family that seldom has any fun together.

Here are some ideas that can turn road trips into wonderful memories:

Bingo, Bongo, Bango Make up three nonsense works, like Wackle, Mackle, Sackle or Miney, Maney, Meany--then build them into a story. Take turns having each person in the car invent a piece of the story. For more laughs and a greater challenge, see if you can compose a story in rhyming couplets. You’ll be amazed at how long a fun, silly story can can keep you talking--even after its conclusion.

KidTalk® Conversation Cards KidTalk® cards are a wonderful way to spark conversations with your kids. Each card presents an fascinating fact about things kids like to talk about – like dreams, magic, peanut butter, horses, sports. Cards also include two or three open-ended questions to prompt conversations between parents and kids. To order a complete set of Kid Talk® Conversation Cards, visit the TableTalk website at

www.tbltalk.com or call: (800)-997-5676.

If I had $1,000,000 Go around the car and have everyone say what they would do if they had a million dollars. Everyone’s responses are bound to be different, and each one can be a great conversation launcher.

In the News Take a newspaper or a magazine along on car trips. Ask someone in the car to read a story aloud, then ask questions to prompt discussion. Current events don’t have to be boring, and they’re is a great way for kids to learn about the world around them.

The law in most states require all children to buckle up for safety when they are in the car. Here’s a new law: When kids and parents are in a car together they have to talk and listen to one another. Then you can deal the with real fears of childhood--like what to wear on the first day back to school...

(The Two Dads are Doug Hall, Director of Great Aspirations!, and Russ Quaglia, Child Aspirations Expert.)

DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE
4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo, 64111; (816) 932-6600